Ridiculous and Funny New Year’s resolutions (from the Internet)
• Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my pajamas. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
• I will no longer waste my time reliving the past. Instead, I will spend it worrying about the future.
• I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
• I will spend less than 1 hour a day on the internet. This of course will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.
• I will read the manual…just as soon as I can find it.
• I want to gain weight. I plan to put on 30 pounds.
• I will procrastinate more.
• I will be more superstitious.
An optimist stays up until midnite to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.
Bill Vaughn
The New Year is upon us. Several of my friends are saying “Good riddance 2009!” Loss of jobs, health, friends and family were one too many losses for anyone. As I write this, one friend told me she had been to 3 funerals in 10 days. These are the losses that require gentle and mindful grieving.
On the other hand, when my brand new LG cell phone, slipped out of my pocket and into the toilet ( No, it was not clean water!), this loss took me by surprise. I was grateful there is a lot written on the Internet about “what to do if your cell phone falls in the toilet.”
Deb’s 2010 resolution #1: Be mindful of cell phone placement in restrooms.
In January, my mood occasionally turns like the weather. Dark and chilly. I want to hibernate like a bear in Montana (Are there bears in Montana?). I like to hunker down at nite, under a crochet blanket and not get sweaty from exercise. Perspiration should be reserved for warmer months only.
Deb’s 2010 resolution #2: Exercise only during daylight hours. Do not crawl under a blanket, unless I have 8 hours to stay there.
Post holiday sales is something else January is noted for. You can go to the mall and outlet centers for a glorious shopping spree. This year, I think I will do most of my browsing and spending at Compassion Outlet, Gratitude Mall and Smile Store.
The prices cannot be beat, no one ever gets fired and there are plenty of new hires everyday. These are stores of renewable and reusable energy. I feel inspired and laugh when I go there. Best of all, I can re-gift guilt free.
Deb’s 2010 resolution #3: Go shopping more often. Spend a lot smiling, laughing, and feeling grateful. Don’t comparison shop for Compassion. Only buy high quality.
What I like best about resolution#3 is: I never get sweaty, I think its great exercise, I can do it after dark and I can do it while I am under my blanket. One more thing: My cell phone stays dry.
Blessings of Laughter, Humor and Mirth for 2010,
Debra Joy Hart RN CLL
Monday, January 04, 2010
Better late than Never ( December Holiday humor )
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold…….. Ogden Nash
I love my family, but I hate family reunions, Family reunions are that time when you come face to face with your family tree and realize some of the branches need to be cut.
…………. Rene` Hicks
We never talked, my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator………………………………… Judy Gold
Growing up Jewish and marrying into a Christian family has afforded me the opportunity to have the best of both worlds at holiday time: Carbohydrates and family arguments. The great debate in our family is: potato pancakes and applesauce vs homemade noodles on mash potatoes. Carbs on Carbs?…. No Way! Combining family traditions is no easy feat. Combining family styles of “ sense of humor” can be even harder.
While “ humor” may help individuals cope with stress, it may mask deeper feelings of resentment, anger and sorrow. Unfortunately, many times this “stress’ is unleashed at someone or a group of people. Verbalizing an ‘ ouch’ when this happens may result in, “What’s the matter, can’t you take a joke?” or “ “ I was only kidding.” I must confess, my least favorite sentence is, “Why are YOU so negative?”
It’s really hard to remember, especially when you are the brunt of the joke or teasing, that the person who made the comment, is also hurting. Retaliation in either word or deed is really incongruous with family get- togethers. So what can you or I do when Uncle Arnold says, “ Hey sexy, you’ve put on weight!” or Aunt Mildred says,” I think your cousin Steve is really happy and GAY( wink wink).” More common is the joke teller, that thinks ALL of the jokes are funny to everyone.
Although my first choice may be to “ hurt” Uncle Arnold or Aunt Mildred, I remember causing bodily harm to another individual is illegal in all 50 states. Secondly, while I may have the perfect comeback at the tip of my tongue, it’s counter productive, especially at a family gathering. Walking away and or simply stating’ I don’t think that’s funny’ along with a disapproving look, usually does the trick. When their comeback is one of the 3 mentioned above, I no longer respond. Their ignorance doesn’t deserve my precious holiday energy. To diffuse a joke teller’s rude joke, I simply state, “ I don’t get it.” Analyzing it ruins the moment for the joke teller and lets them know that type of humor is not wanted.
After 16 years, our blended family has gained insight as to what makes each other laugh and what does not. Respect and an heart felt apology takes care of the times we don’t tickle the other’s funny bone. The one area I make no apology: latkes( potato pancakes) and apple sauce are much better than noodles on mash potatoes.
Blessings of Laughter, Humor and Mirth at all your family gatherings,
Debra Joy Hart RN BFA CLL
Age Wise Care Management
debrajoyhart@gmail.com
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold…….. Ogden Nash
I love my family, but I hate family reunions, Family reunions are that time when you come face to face with your family tree and realize some of the branches need to be cut.
…………. Rene` Hicks
We never talked, my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator………………………………… Judy Gold
Growing up Jewish and marrying into a Christian family has afforded me the opportunity to have the best of both worlds at holiday time: Carbohydrates and family arguments. The great debate in our family is: potato pancakes and applesauce vs homemade noodles on mash potatoes. Carbs on Carbs?…. No Way! Combining family traditions is no easy feat. Combining family styles of “ sense of humor” can be even harder.
While “ humor” may help individuals cope with stress, it may mask deeper feelings of resentment, anger and sorrow. Unfortunately, many times this “stress’ is unleashed at someone or a group of people. Verbalizing an ‘ ouch’ when this happens may result in, “What’s the matter, can’t you take a joke?” or “ “ I was only kidding.” I must confess, my least favorite sentence is, “Why are YOU so negative?”
It’s really hard to remember, especially when you are the brunt of the joke or teasing, that the person who made the comment, is also hurting. Retaliation in either word or deed is really incongruous with family get- togethers. So what can you or I do when Uncle Arnold says, “ Hey sexy, you’ve put on weight!” or Aunt Mildred says,” I think your cousin Steve is really happy and GAY( wink wink).” More common is the joke teller, that thinks ALL of the jokes are funny to everyone.
Although my first choice may be to “ hurt” Uncle Arnold or Aunt Mildred, I remember causing bodily harm to another individual is illegal in all 50 states. Secondly, while I may have the perfect comeback at the tip of my tongue, it’s counter productive, especially at a family gathering. Walking away and or simply stating’ I don’t think that’s funny’ along with a disapproving look, usually does the trick. When their comeback is one of the 3 mentioned above, I no longer respond. Their ignorance doesn’t deserve my precious holiday energy. To diffuse a joke teller’s rude joke, I simply state, “ I don’t get it.” Analyzing it ruins the moment for the joke teller and lets them know that type of humor is not wanted.
After 16 years, our blended family has gained insight as to what makes each other laugh and what does not. Respect and an heart felt apology takes care of the times we don’t tickle the other’s funny bone. The one area I make no apology: latkes( potato pancakes) and apple sauce are much better than noodles on mash potatoes.
Blessings of Laughter, Humor and Mirth at all your family gatherings,
Debra Joy Hart RN BFA CLL
Age Wise Care Management
debrajoyhart@gmail.com
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