Mirth Foundations

Better late than Never ( December Holiday humor )


A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold…….. Ogden Nash


I love my family, but I hate family reunions, Family reunions are that time when you come face to face with your family tree and realize some of the branches need to be cut.
…………. Rene` Hicks


We never talked, my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator………………………………… Judy Gold


Growing up Jewish and marrying into a Christian family has afforded me the opportunity to have the best of both worlds at holiday time: Carbohydrates and family arguments. The great debate in our family is: potato pancakes and applesauce vs homemade noodles on mash potatoes. Carbs on Carbs?…. No Way! Combining family traditions is no easy feat. Combining family styles of “ sense of humor” can be even harder.

While “ humor” may help individuals cope with stress, it may mask deeper feelings of resentment, anger and sorrow. Unfortunately, many times this “stress’ is unleashed at someone or a group of people. Verbalizing an ‘ ouch’ when this happens may result in, “What’s the matter, can’t you take a joke?” or “ “ I was only kidding.” I must confess, my least favorite sentence is, “Why are YOU so negative?”

It’s really hard to remember, especially when you are the brunt of the joke or teasing, that the person who made the comment, is also hurting. Retaliation in either word or deed is really incongruous with family get- togethers. So what can you or I do when Uncle Arnold says, “ Hey sexy, you’ve put on weight!” or Aunt Mildred says,” I think your cousin Steve is really happy and GAY( wink wink).” More common is the joke teller, that thinks ALL of the jokes are funny to everyone.

Although my first choice may be to “ hurt” Uncle Arnold or Aunt Mildred, I remember causing bodily harm to another individual is illegal in all 50 states. Secondly, while I may have the perfect comeback at the tip of my tongue, it’s counter productive, especially at a family gathering. Walking away and or simply stating’ I don’t think that’s funny’ along with a disapproving look, usually does the trick. When their comeback is one of the 3 mentioned above, I no longer respond. Their ignorance doesn’t deserve my precious holiday energy. To diffuse a joke teller’s rude joke, I simply state, “ I don’t get it.” Analyzing it ruins the moment for the joke teller and lets them know that type of humor is not wanted.



After 16 years, our blended family has gained insight as to what makes each other laugh and what does not. Respect and an heart felt apology takes care of the times we don’t tickle the other’s funny bone. The one area I make no apology: latkes( potato pancakes) and apple sauce are much better than noodles on mash potatoes.

Blessings of Laughter, Humor and Mirth at all your family gatherings,
Debra Joy Hart RN BFA CLL
Age Wise Care Management
debrajoyhart@gmail.com